Good news! You don’t have to be a tiger mom — or a French bringer-upper-of-beber to instill self control and initiative in your kido. Check this article on good old fashion American play as a way to develop your child’s mental and physical strengths.
Teaching Self-Control, the American Way – NYTimes.com.
Mistakes Improve Children’s Learning
Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D., writes about the new psychology of success. She lists:
Ten Parenting Guidelines that Help Kids Learn from Mistakes
- Acknowledge that you don’t expect your children to be perfect.
- Let them know your love is unconditional, regardless of their mistakes or lapses in judgment.
- Don’t rescue children from their mistakes. Instead, help them focus on the solution.
- Provide examples of your own mistakes, the consequences, and how you learned from them.
- Encourage them to take responsibility for their mistakes and not blame others.
- Avoid pointing out their past mistakes. Instead, focus on the one at hand.
- Praise them for their ability to admit their mistakes.
- Praise them for their efforts and courage to overcome setbacks.
- Mentor them on how to apologize when their mistakes have hurt others.
- Help them look at the good side of getting things wrong!
Change How You Praise Your Children to Assure They Reach Their Potential.
A very nice summary of how to apply the new psychology of success to children struggling with homework. The idea of fostering on a “growth mindset” rather than a “fixed mindset” in our kids is an excellent way to use their struggles to build the resiliency they will need to be successful in life.
Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D. provides a great overview of fostering initiative in our kids. She makes three important points about initiative building activities:
- Kids must choose it for themselves because it gives them “internal” rewards! Examples include music programs, service-learning, and a myriad of other after-school activities.
- The activity must take place in an environment that contains rules, challenges, and complexities inherent in the real world. They must face intellectual, interpersonal, and intrapersonal challenges that go beyond grades, winning a game, and other external rewards.
- The activity must be sustained over a period of time. Rather than doing lots of activities, it is better to focus on a few for longer periods of time so kids learn to persevere despite challenges.
Check out the full article at the link or on her blog at Psychology Today.